As I fasted from everything but fruits and veggies, I realized why people used to wear sack cloth and ashes when they were repenting before God. I wanted to eat meat/bread/cheese so badly but I couldn't. The thought that crossed my mind was - I am deliberately abstaining from satisfying mon gout. And by doing this, I was taking away from myself something that I delighted in. So with this fast, it wasn't so much the hunger that was difficult. (I mean, I was definitely hungry but I was able to eat an apple or a banana). But it was like a dark cloud hung over me every time I thought about eating and how I couldn't eat certain things that I was craving. And in that way, it reminded me of grieving.
When a person grieves and mourns, everything is gray. Nothing has taste or color. And I saw clearly for the first time why God says, "GRIEVE, MOURN and WAIL" (James 4:9) to mean repentance. It is not just feeling bad or saying sorry. But it is literally, spending time in mourning. The grief - as a result of realizing that what I had done has taken the brightness, the joy, and the gout of life away - because it separates me from the light of the world.
My delight is in the Lord. And by taking away some food, I am reminded again, that my delight and joy in life comes seulement from the Lord.
Ezekiel 24:16 - 17
I am understanding this again -
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