Lovers

A friend of mine shared with me yesterday about her grandparents. It was the sweetest thing.

1) Her grandmother has never pumped gas because her husband always did it for her.
2) If he's ever away from her, he calls her every two hrs just to ask, "sweetie, are you doin ok?"



Some people are good friends, some are good boyfriends.

Missing Paris

Paris me manque.

After much reflection, I realized why I missed Paris so much. Paris is my escape fantasy. For me, it's a place of no stress, no work, no worries, and no responsibilities. I can do whatever I choose.

So a lot of my sentiments stem from childishness and selfishness.

God is the one who gives me strength. He is the one who gives me freedom. Do I trust this truth?

Appearance of godliness

2 Timothy 3:1-5
"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."

We do a lot of church activity, a lot of religious duties but in our hearts, we are still living to please ourselves, living the lives that we desire, because we do not know the power of the Gospel that can change our hearts. Part of it might be our proud hard hearts thinking.. "oh but can God really change me?" Part of it might be us not really wanting to change. We don't want to give up the things we are living for and live a life of obedience to God.

And by denying the power of the gospel, we cheapen the cross.

For Me

1 Peter 3:13-17
Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil.

C.S.Lewis in The Weight of Glory
"The infinite value of each human soul is not a Christian doctrine. God did not die for man because of some value He perceived in him. The value of each human soul considered simply in itself, out of relation to God, is zero. As St. Paul writes, to have died for valuable men would have been not divine but merely heroic; but God died for sinners."

John Piper
"If you can't see the sun, you will be impressed with a street light. If you've never felt thunder and lightning, you'll be impressed with fireworks. And if you turn your back on the greatness and majesty of God, you'll fall in love with a world of shadows and short-lived pleasures."

Ravi Zacharias in Can Man Live Without God
"Let me say forthrightly that what we have actually done is smuggle in foundational strengths of Christian thought, buried far below the surface to maintain some stability, while above the ground we see humanism's bizarre experiments growing unchecked... And though in the classroom we have tried to dignify what we have done, the songwriters and artists have called our bluff...

An utterly fascinating illustration of this duping of ourselves is the Wexner Center for the Performing Arts at OSU. This building, another one of our chimerical exploits in the name of intellectual advance was branded by Newsweek as "America's first deconstructionist building." Its white scaffolding, red brick turrets, and Colorado grass pods evoke a double take. But puzzlement only intensifies when you enter the building, for inside you encounter stairways that go nowhere, pillars that hang from the ceiling without purpose, and angled surfaces configured to create a sense of vertigo. The architect, we are duly informed, designed this building to reflect life itself-senseless and incoherent-and the "capriciousness of the rules that organize the built world". When the rationale was explained to me, I had just one question: Did they do the same with the foundation?

The laughter in response to my question unmasked the double standard our deconstructionists espouse. And that is precisely the double standard of antitheism!"

taken all away

My friend's been diagnosed with myasthenia gravis, an autoimmune disease of the nervous system. She was misdiagnosed at first so by the time they realized it, the disease was in its aggressive stage.

She spent the past two weeks in the hospital receiving treatment but they don't really specialize in this disease. Thankfully, Mayo Clinic accepted her application so she'll be getting more treatment there.

Our sinful natures

Luke 7:47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

God, why do we not see the sin that is in us? Why do people think that they are better, or not so bad, or not as bad? Get rid of the pride God and take away the shame. Your kindness should bring us to repentance.... but we have so little faith in your cross. Show us how MUCH we have been forgiven.

This church needs you so much right now.

you are my freedom,
jesus, you're the reason
i'm kneeling again at your throne

where would i be without you
here in my life
here in my life

missing you

Finally, classes started today. It's a strange feeling thinking that this is my last year as an undergrad. I'm getting old. I really am.... so scary. And I will have to grow old and be an adult, have children, get married, buy insurance... ew ew strange thoughts.

I really need to set aside time for God this year. like consistent personal time with God. I miss you God. I miss hearing your voice. I just want to spend time with you.

my Jesus I love thee, I know that thou art mine
to thee all the follies of sin I resign
my gracious redeemer, my Savior art thou
if ever I love thee, my Jesus tis now.

This world has nothing for me and this world has everything

The things of this world will fade away. "There will come a time when every culture, every institution, every nation, the human race, all biological life is extinct and every one of us is still alive" (C.S. Lewis). I don't think he meant alive in the physical sense but alive because our souls live on (whether in hell or in heaven).

I am reminded of a song by Caedmon's Call titled This World. Here are the rest of the lyrics.

this world has nothing for me
and this world has everything
all that I could want
and nothing that I need

this world is making me drunk
on the spirits of fear
so when He says who will go
I am nowhere near

and the least of these
look like criminals to me
so I leave Christ on the street

this world has held my hand
and has led me into intolerance
but now I'm waking up

The things that I strive for, the things that take the most priority in my life... are they things that make an eternal difference? It gets harder and harder to choose to do things that has eternal significance because it means giving up the selfish desires of my heart. As I invest more and more into this world, it gets easier to do it again the next time.

You know, in January, a lot of my stuff was stolen as I was coming back to school for the winter quarter. My entire jewelry collection (some having great sentimental value), some photos, journals, and most painful were some of things that I had gotten from people in Paris (which I won't ever be able to get again). It hurt so much to think that the person who stole it probably won't even understand or appreciate it. It was painful to also think of how much I lost, in monetary value. The whole situation made me remember this: God gives me everything... ev-ery-thing and God can take it all away.

Dressing Up for Sunday

I must confess that every Sunday, I have tried to dress up and look nice for church. Now don't misunderstand me, there is nothing wrong with looking great for church. In fact, I dress up because I can honor Him, even with the extra time that it takes to make sure that I'm well-groomed. If I can dress up to look nice at work or at an interview to show respect, then I can do the same or more for God.

So what am I confessing? Well, with each passing Sunday, my intentions of dressing up have strayed little by little, until today, as I was curling my hair, I realized that my heart's desire was not simply to please God, but to make myself feel good. I don't know if anyone else shares these sentiments, but dressing well affects my mood! For example, I know not to wear sweats and sweater to a testing site (like my SATs in high school) because I'll be worrying about it. Instead I wear a comfortable pair of jeans and a nice top... but still comfortable. Yes, so adorning a chic dress makes me feel wonderful, and by feeling wonderful, I am distracted from the true shabbiness that I feel about myself.

The point is, no matter how well I dress, no matter how pricey or priceless my outfit is, I cannot cover over my true sinful nature with pretty clothing. For God sees the condition of my heart, and I should not deceive myself with these ephemeral feel-good sentiments.

He told the church in Laodicea, you do not "realize that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be riche, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see" (Revelation 3:17-18). These white garments are worth a bajillion times more than the most expensive haute couture.

For all have sinned

and fall short of the glory of God.