Reconciliation

mending between separated old friends

Grad Night 2012 Story

People have said: how one ends one season of life is how the next will begin.  So true are those words.

Three years ago, God's calling for me to stay in Chicago was made quite clear.  I was given the opportunity to study Audiology and could serve the local church at the same time.

Little did I know that in obeying this calling, God would stretch me beyond my capacity.  Greater time commitment and responsibility was required of me on all fronts.  It was through this that God broke me and kept me dependent on Him.  I learned that even though I obeyed his calling, the path ahead was not without obstacles.

Time was scarce in Undergrad - as all of you can relate I'm sure.  But in Grad school - time was not even a concept!  My professors expected me to put Audiology as the sole priority in my life.  Mandatory meetings could be held on Weekends and evenings.  And I always had to give a reason if I could not attend.  But at the same time, serving at this church was a priority that God had given me. So I had to learn that neither one was holier than the other - but rather both required me to work at it with all my heart - serving the Lord, not man.  I had to learn to depend on God each quarter, each week, and really, each day to live faithfully and make most of every opportunity, when it would've been more convenient to be selfish.

On top of that, God used this time to forge my identity in Him.  Idols that I struggled with in undergrad carried over to grad school... And these 3  years God dug out the roots of these idols from my heart.  He loved me too much to let remnants of these idols reside in me.  In my flesh, i wanted to build security in my career, my relationships with people, and even a fantasized future marriage.  For five years I was in a relationship and in my mind, we would get married one day.  But this was not God’s plan for me.  Instead, God wanted me to be firmly rooted in his truths and experience his promises fully.  Through a lot of prayers and tears, God has been able to bring healing and forgiveness into this part of my life.

The future is uncertain - but I was never meant to have everything figured out. I couldn't have orchestrated some of the things God allowed to happen in my life.  For one, God has miraculously allowed me to go on missions this summer when technically my program doesn't end until Aug.  And though I do not have a job for after missions right now, I know this is exactly where He wants me to be - dependent on Him.

And so, as I get older, I realized that age does not equal maturity -  no matter if you’re 18 or 25 or 65 - character is built, righteousness takes training - when I allowed God to work deeply in my heart, in the most intimate areas of my life, Christ made me His.  And when I let him, he took me on the most adventurous journey - yes, there were obstacles and trials and there will be in the future, but the joy of being with Him surpasses them all. The key was letting Him.  

And my prayer is that you let Him in.  In every season of your life.

Timing & Location

The timing of things is so important.
Punch lines.
Intentional pauses.
When cell phone service cuts off.

Waiting

Waiting can be easy if you know what you are waiting for... if the thing that is coming is certain and you just have to count down the days until it comes.

But waiting is hard if you don't know when the thing you are waiting for will come.  It is hard because there's an element of uncertainty and a possibility that it might not happen at all.

I remember there was a book titled, Lady in Waiting...