Blessed, Confirmed, Hopeful, and Hungry

This weekend, Rev James and Faith Cha, were our guest speakers for Missions week.  Some things that really stuck out:

-- their ministry together
       James was super supportive of his wife and vice versa
       He stayed home one semester to take care of their children so she could take some seminary classes, which was what she always wanted
       She prays for him consistently

-- fasting and praying
        It was pretty clear that before every decision - they fasted and prayed
        conviction to fast and pray for my decisions

-- Christ-centered marriage
        When God is at the center, they can face anything

-- spiritual battle
         opposition in the form of physical sickness/pain/disease
         faith
         opposition from church members

-- God is the one who parents and takes care of their children

-- thankful to see their faith lived out, thankful to see their marriage

1 Peter 5

² Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; ³ not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. ⁴ And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

Ezekiel 34

4 You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally.
5 So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals.

12 As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness.
13 I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land.
14 I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel.
15 I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD.
16 I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.


Jesus you are my Shepherd.

Crazy Stupid Love

Pretty awesome movie, it's a smart and sophisticated movie with a seemingly simple plot.  It keeps you laughing throughout, even though the main character is going through the emotional pains of a divorce.  You grow to sympathize with him and even his buddy at the bar (a womanizer) is likeable.  The movie kept it real.  I think that's why I liked it.

A typical rom com would've probably been the love story of the two main characters in their high school years (they're high school sweethearts, now married almost 25 yrs).  It would've probably ended with them getting married, dreaming of a future together, and living in the 'happily ever after'.

But this movie was not like that.  It was the twenty-five-years later version of the story, where things are not so happily ever after.  Where love isn't just the feelings of butterflies in the the tummy, but it is hard work.

I'm also reading a book by Ravi Zacharias on marriage - I, Isaac, take thee, Rebekah - and it's super insightful.  One thing he says about a marriage is that it's as much about the will as it is about emotions.  It's just that we like the emotions part more.

Hmmm there are so many things I want to quote from the book.........  I will only put two, and maybe write more later.

"Don't be deceived by the flutter of the heart.  Love is a commitment that will be tested in the most vulnerable areas of spirituality, a commitment that will force you to make some very difficult choices.  It is a commitment that demands that you deal with your lust, your greed, your pride, your power, your desire to control, your temper, your patience, and every area of temptation that the Bible so clearly talks about.  It demands the quality of commitment that Jesus demonstrates in His relationship to us."

"Watch two young people in a passionate embrace - it may be love, but it may also be nothing more than passion.  Watch two elderly people walking hand in hand with evident concern for each other, and you are closer to seeing love in that relationship than in the youthful embrace."

I remember as I pour out my soul - Psalm 42:4

As I pour out my heart, these things I remember, 
You are faithful God, forever

This song was playing on the radio as I drove to church on Sunday (my three minute drive).  As I listened to it, I praised Him for yet again, being so faithful.  This song so aptly describes my summer.  Trusting in God, pouring out my heart to Him, bringing all my insecurities to Him... only to find that as I did that, He reminded me of all his faithfulness in the past... and I have faith again. 

So I get to church.... and we sing this song for worship.  :)  God speaks and affirms.

Let faith arise, let faith arise

Rooted

With all the thunderstorms these past few weeks (and actually hailing outside right now), many trees have been uprooted, fallen on cars and roofs... It's incredible to think that some of these trees have been here for years! like the willow tree by the NU lakefill... and they've withstood many storms and strong winds in the past, they've been tested and held true.  But not this time. 

Reminded me of the importance of being rooted in God's truth.  Jeremiah 17:7-8. "But blesses is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Need the renewing of my mind with his truth, so when the storms come, I won't be so fragile as to be uprooted. 

You know what Jeremiah 17:9 says immediately after?  It says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?"

A lot of the storms that come aren't external, but internal.  They're storms in my heart.  Battles in my heart - emotions and desires and ambition and fears.  Especially in this, I need truth.  My confidence can't be from anything else but in Him.

Moving onwards

Today was the last day of classes (after 20 years of my life!).  It's a bitter sweet day.  I'll definitely miss going to classes, soaking up information.... but I'm excited for a new pace of life.  Working 40-50hr weeks, work stays at work.  Nights and weekends will be my play time :).  But work is going to be a laaaaarge chunk of my life, 50 hrs/week devoted to my job.  Difficult to fathom. 

How do I feel?  Scared.  I'm moving on from the student life.  It means, going into unknown territory.  I've known nothing but the student life (as long as I can remember in my existence).  And this is scary.

How will I relate to undergrads?  I think these past two years, I could still relate through school, classes, and studying late nights.  I saw them on campus, I ate with them on campus.  But I'll no longer be able to do that when I go to externship at UIC.  It will be different.  It may be hard.

There was a time when I thought I could be in undergrad ministry for...ever.  :)  But I guess I can kind of understand now, why that might be hard to do.   And that yes, it takes a calling.

Maybe now that I don't have to read for school, I can read for fun.  That sounds exciting.  There is a sci-fi book I've been wanting to read.  The Hunger Games.  Might start on that soon.

Anyways, God has good timing.  Bringing up deep issues, that I thought were done and over with - to refine me at a deeper level.  Heart surgery is painful.  And it was not without many tears, grieving.  And ironically, it was at the Oticon camp that one of the audiologists said, "Grief is the death of a dream".  Funny how God speaks through the most unexpected moments through unexpected people.

Contentment

Paul learned the secret of being content in any and every situation. 

Friendship

I've been learning that, true friendship means asking questions :)
Asking = Caring

Unwind

swimming through thoughts
forming in my head
easy to get lost
an entire life-story
film unwinds
wanting to know the ending.
cars drive by
going somewhere.
where am i going