The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Storytelling is an art. I love the way this story unraveled, and how everything that happened (no matter how astonishing) seems so natural, as if it was all just... a part of life, while the most unnatural thing - growing younger while aging - is played out in front of our eyes. Some people probably don't like this aspect of the film - the lack of emotional depth of Benjamin's character (when his mama dies or when he leaves Daisy).  But for me, I saw it as him just accepting these events as his life and there wasn't anything he could've done to change the circumstances. He didn't try to play the hero and that was comforting. Benjamin took life as it was, and lived it. He never demanded or thought he deserved more or less. He took each day as it came and made the most of what he had. He took risks and adventures. I loved that about his character. And I absolutely adored Queenie's character. She was a gem.  This movie actually reminds me of Big Fish (2003) by Tim Burton, another one of my favorites.

There are some amazing lines in this film. I've put my favorites. 

This made me laugh the most:

Daisy to Benjamin - "sugar, we all end up in diapers." 

because I really do think that I will end up in diapers in my old age, and Lord bless the person, probably my husband or children, who takes care of me.

perspective check:

Benjamin - "you can be mad as a mad dawg at the way things wents... you can

swear, curse the fates, regret every'ting you ever dids... but when it

comes to the end... you have to lets go..."

yearning for somethin never to be had again:

In response to the comment about the clock running backwards,
Mr. Gataeu replies - "I made it this way... so that perhaps, the boys who were lost in

the war might stand and go home again...

home to farm, to work, have children, to live long, full lives...

Perhaps my own son might come home again..."

on change:

Benjamin - "it's a funny thing about comin' home.

looks the same, smells the same, feels the same.

you'll realize what's changed... is you"

and i also loved this movie because... erm, how do i say this?
Brad Pitt is too daaamn fine. 

the glimpse

Spent the past 24 hours with leadership team of the church in Elgin, at i-teams. We've been there three times already this quarter! It's literally our second home.

refreshing - like a warm steamy shower after a stressful day of classes or clinic, or a perfect cool glass of mojito, or the feeling after you brush your teeth with a super minty toothpaste

reoriented - like when you get out of a subway station and you don't know which way's north, south, east or west but someone just points you the right way

Two things that struck me at this summit:

1) History

The history of our church - HMCC of Chicago - needs to be passed down to the next generation (younger members). Psalm 145:4 - One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts. God is writing a unique story in our church and working in a unique way. And it'll be important that we don't forget our roots and even the things God had done in the beginning years, especially the lessons he's taught us. This is so that the younger members can praise God & not make the same mistakes. "...so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands" - Psalm 78

Related to this is also knowing the history of the Church as Christians. It is important to know how the Church has evolved, since it's beginnings - when it was called The Way - back in Jerusalem to where it is now, with the many denominations. It is pretty cool to see how each group has contributed something to the faith. And it's important to not just see the negative side - like crusades, legalism, church & state, etc - because even through the darkest moments, God worked and wrote that into the history of his imperfect bride, the church. As we know our roots and history, we can better sense how God is moving today.

2) Holiness

Second thing - Even though God gives us a glimpse of what is to come, it does not guarantee that we will fully see it one day. This to me is a scary thought. Because even if we desire to see it, it may not happen. Look to the example of one of the most humble man to ever walk the earth, Moses: Moses saw a glimpse of the promised land, but he was not able to enter it - due to disobedience! disobedience. And how much do I disobey! As God is preparing me (our church), I realize I can't live the same-old way all the time. Pet sins have to go. Sin has to become my enemy and not my secret lover, that's the power of the cross - because it allows that change to happen in me, when nothing in me desires it.

God wants greater holiness. Hebrews 12:14 - ...without holiness no one will see the Lord. Scripture says no one will see the Lord without holiness. I know holiness is not something that I strive for or even is on the top of my mind. Actually, holiness sometimes is not seen in a "positive" light because it's associated to some hypocritical/fake/holier-than-thou sort of practice. But as I see older men & women who have walked with the Lord, and who exemplify great faith (like Uncle George Chavannikamanil, Dr. Timothy Tennent, Pastor M & MJ, etc), I can see that they strive to live a life that is holy. And it is so refreshing to see their example, it gives me such hope! Peter 1:16 - for it is written "be holy as I am holy". And so, even when I prayed about growing in my faith earlier this year, God gave me the words holy and set apart. I was reminded of that this weekend. He gave me the word & He will work in my heart as I submit myself to him. He will be the one pruning away the things in my life that don't bear fruit. Even just this past quarter, he's revealed the ugliness of my heart - insecurity, identity, laziness, discontent, and lack of love. This is part of the process of being refined I think, as I ask God to change my heart.

a song that will never grow old:

create in me a clean heart, o God

and renew a right spirit within me

cast me not away

from thy presence o Lord

and take not, thy Holy Spirit from me

restore unto me

the joy of salvation

and renew a right spirit within me

I am super excited that I'm on break now. Many reflections that were needed, but were put on the shelf for a time like now. There were also many books that I've been wanting to read, although I wouldn't be too sad if I didn't get to all of them. Just gotta finish Knowing God, Death by Love, & Religion saves and nine other misconceptions. Prayer, fasting, and resting time scheduled in too of course :)

Goood niight!

Baby It's Cold Outside

Baby it's cold outside - cover by joseph vincent & an le

Just a dream - cover by jason chen & joseph vincent

Breakeven - amazing cover by maddi jane (she's 11!)

Everything - michael buble

The First Snow Marks the End and the Beginning

Woke up Saturday morning to glistening tree branches and glistening streets. I was overjoyed to see the snow! It was so bright. Light shone everywhere, reflecting off the snow. Reminded me of purity, holiness... I don't know what it was exactly, but something about light, gave me a sense of peace like no other.

This quarter is coming to an end - I don't think there's ever been a quarter that went by as fast as this one. It was literally a blur. When I try to think of my life these past few months, there's nothing solid for me to point to that can sum up my life. Perhaps that, in itself, sums it up. I felt pulled in so many directions and had to pour a lot of energy into so many things that at the end of each day/week, I was pretty drained. But through it all, God pulled me through. He gave me a supernatural strength when I was at the end of my own strength. He showed me that to go the second mile, requires His grace. The first mile may be accomplished out of my own strength if I tried, but the second mile can only be done through His power. And that's the truth, there's nothing in me that made me able to do all that I did this past few months... and definitely, I made mistakes and failed several times (with my professors, supervisors, life group members, pj, friends, and family)... I'm so thankful that God is a gracious God.

There were definitely moments throughout the quarter that are worth highlighting.

city life: going to downtown site wed nights & helping set up there

ministry teams retreat: going deeper this year, not wider.

new student week: hanging out at new student week events, kaleidescope, meeting new people

OCR: buying breakfast every morning, flyering/attempting to chalk over campus - failed. our hearts were not as big as we thought they were. "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you" - romans 12:3.

clinic: learned/realized that I do NOT like working at the JBVA hospital, gained perspective on what the next ten years of my life could look like if i followed the patterns of this world, but fighting to be transformed by the renewing of my mind thro

ugh Christ - romans 12:2

research: started with no idea what our proj would look like in Sept to being ready to test subjects and collect data! amazing progress.

classes: not slacking (as much) this year in my school work which means taking more time and effort to work on school stuff, part of growing mature, seeing that there's no dichotomy in my life, col 3:23-24 "whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving".

sisters: God's been working in Teresa's life & Chrissy's life in amazing ways, I'm so blessed that they're my sisters. still praying for them and our relationships with each other.

helen: my steadfast roommate. so thankful for her.

sandy/ed's wedding: so chill, yet so classy. i actually made my own dress! with velvet like i imagined it would be made out of. i had planned to do this since early sept, but didn't think i'd actually be able to do it. felt quite accomplished ;) and the dress looked good.

-- insert picture of dress... for Diana :) --- it was literally cloth wrapped around me, sewed one seam, and tied up the top on one shoulder; i really think the velvet-y type of material made it look much better than it really was

vision sunday: 20/20 vision for HMCC ; seeing God's vision for the church and even my life, possibilities greater than i could imagine. inspiring stuff.

undergrad retreat: powerful night of singing praises to our heavenly father, giving Him the glory, 1st time ever, i felt the JOY of worship. i caught a glimpse of what it meant when it says that God inhabits the praises of his people. ("yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel" - psalm 22:3)

ET planning at i-teams: talkin & prayin about discipleship for our church and out of it was birthed a new way to do dship this year. exciting stuff. course, it's not a perfect plan but at least moving in a better direction

discipleship mtg: lamenting for our members, sowing in tears, not necessarily hard work, the deeper the lament, the greater the joy (psalm 126).

re-redeemed: when we met one last time for a 'pre-lifegroup' grieving and praying session. "we didn't divide, we multipled" quoting hong. i love every one of you guys.

word life group:

First LG in plex: we played a silly game where we tried to guess who told the truth. :)

when we shared as just girls - it was a powerful moment when we prayed for each other.

H-games: we managed to place last, and proud of it, yeeeeaaaaaaaahh. and also, planning & coming up with the games for h-games with helen & josh = fun times :)

Bonnie accepting Christ: 'nuf said.

Sharing about missions week: i will not forget the honesty and sincerity that could be felt as we shared, only by His spirit.

Praying with Amy: powerful time as south campus coming together to support our sister, living out biblical community, as one part suffers, all suffer, as one part is honored, all are honored - 1 cor 12:25-27

Thanksgiving dinner outreach: super crazy cooking on Sunday after Sunday Celebration. two turkeys at my place and the kitchen sinks weren't clogged!!! i was so blessed! God brought so many people (80+)... AMAZING because we hadn't had much time to spread the word cause of missions week. it was an awesome way to end missions week - by livin' it out. word.

amp the word party - fun stuff. silly apples to apples. intense mafia that almost brought division to our LG! (jus kiddin). "i want a beer!" - tim lin (in the context of Bang! of course ;] )

thanksgiving weekend: met a new friend, lillian - i can feel an amazing friendship developing

missions week/crazy school week: --- will update this later

Am so happy that God moves and works and is ALIVE today! He is awesome for sustaining me & allowing me to witness/participate in so many awesome things. Still, I am ready to be done with this quarter. I know I need rest and solitude time with Jesus. I can't wait til next week when all dies down :). Christmas is coming soon - I love Christmas time.

... back to writing my paper?