In this season of singleness in my life, I'm finding it hard to keep focused on what God has called me to right now. I've let me thoughts wander into worlds of "what-ifs" this past week. I'm a dreamer - I can sit for hours.... daydreaming. It's not healthy, because my emotions get caught up in these daydreams as well. I desperately need Him to take captive every thought that I have, so that even in my thoughts, I'd submit to God. What a war it is that wages inside of me! the battle between the flesh and the spirit.
Show me God how to be completely satisfied in you. Strip everything away in my life that I try to find my significance and value in - so they don't become idols or build up my pride. Help me to know that I do not need approval from any man, but that my value comes from who you say I am. And you say I'm your precious daughter, a daughter of the Most High King, and loved beyond anything I can imagine. So let me live like it. I want to live, act, make choices that reflect this truth. Don't let me just know it in my head, but let me know it in my heart, so that I can be free.
I don't want to be deceived by what the movies say "love" should look like. Guard my heart with your truth God. A good marriage takes strong commitment, a lot of giving, and a lot of selflessness. I wish there was a movie that reflected this. All my favorite disney princess stories end on the wedding day. But isn't the beauty of a marriage in the years that follow? In the commitment that two people show to each other? With each year, the uber specialness that's between the man and the woman grows. I guess it's akin to aged wine?
Father, help me wait and not rush. What is a few years... even 10 years that I'm supposed to wait now? Compared to the 30 or 40 years that I'll have with my husband? Exactly. Perspective check! "Do not arouse love until it so desires". I'm learning patience as I wait upon you. I know you're still refining me and healing me - so that my baggage will not carry over from one stage to the next of my life, but I can move forward in freedom. When that day comes, it'll be beautiful. Hmmm, when I think of a beautiful marriage, I think of Billy & Ruth Graham.
Love does not envy and it does not boast.
