Movies

Inception

Salt

500 Days of Summer

Burma VJ

Amreeka

Nobody Knows

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Pride and Prejudice

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Definitely Maybe

Contentment

This past week the missions team girls stayed at my place. It was super loud and crazy everyday with so many people in the house. But it was such a blessing. As I saw them serve diligently each day, it made me want to serve God. It made me miss being on missions.... Not only miss it, but I started wishing that I was on missions rather than in school right now.

It may have seemed like a harmless wish... but God rebuked me. By wishing I was doing something else, I was indirectly complaining and grumbling about my current situation. As I wished I was doing something else, I was taking my eyes off the things I was called to for this summer. God was asking... "what about the things I've given to you for this season in your life?" So I prayed and asked God to focus my eyes on Him, help me be content with the things on my plate now rather than wishing for something else. =)

It's similar to something else I learned recently. That I should be living in the Present - focused on the Present - not dwelling on the Past or worried about the Future. God showed this to me as I was reading C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters...

"The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity. He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present. For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity...

Our business is to get them away from the eternal, and from the Present. With this in view, we sometimes tempt a human (say a widow or a scholar) to live in the Past. But this is of limited value, for they have some real knowledge of the past and it has a determinate nature and, to that extent, resembles eternity. It is far better to make them live in the Future. Biological necessity makes all their passions point in that direction already, so that thought about the Future inflames hope and fear. Also, it is unknown to them, so that in making them think about it we make them think of unrealities. In a word, the Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity"

I need to remember that all my thoughts about the future are UNREALITIES.

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On a side note, wikiName says Louisa means "fights with honor" and "renowned fighter".

Yes. I'm a fighter.

God help me to keep fighting.

I just read something from the book "how people change" today and it says

- A true Christian is one who has not only peace of conscience, but war within -

Quarter-life Crisis

I have lived 23 years of my life and life is already getting mundane. Nothing is really new - everything is the same old. I was cleaning out my closet, picking out clothes to donate and when I was done, I felt like I accomplished something. But then I thought about buying new clothes, and realized that I'd probably be buying the same styles of the ones I just donated. Because styles are generally... the same. Or more like, my taste in clothes.. is generally the same. And then I thought, man, how many more times in my life will this happen. How many more times will I have to cook my dinner, wash the dishes, vacuum the carpet, clean the bathrooms.... All of a sudden the life ahead of me seemed so daunting. I still have another 60 some years to go... God willing. I've only lived 23.

Is life just about keeping ourselves entertained? our minds off the grind of daily routine?

God, I need your help. I don't want to despise life, which is a gift!

Psalm 63:3

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

God, your love is BETTER than life. It's your LOVE, it's you God - better than life itself. Draw me close to you.

In the mind of a girl

So it seems that all my classmates keep talking about marriage, weddings, and babies! But who am I kidding, even if they weren't talking about this ---- I'd totally be thinking about these things in my head (I cannot say if it is a good or bad thing, though... probably I should not be thinking so much about it right now).

On the very upside, I've been hanging out with my classmates a lot!! I am so thankful that God opened up opportunities for hangouts and conversations. God's timing is the best timing. I still remember in September how I got upset at not having enough time to spend with them.

A Song

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

by

Sanctus Real

Old entries

So it is an amazing thing to go through old journals and read them...
an even more amazing thing... reading through my old xanga entries from high school years to early sophomore year of college.

http://clevermelon.xanga.com/